Phillips Exeter Academy

Borges and I

Francesca Piana, who taught Spanish at the Academy from 1976 through 1986, was instrumental in arranging Borges’ visit. The following is her narrative memory of that time. Originally written in Spanish, this excerpt was translated by Piana’s former student Molly King ’82 and edited for space. Read the full Spanish text.

In the autumn of 1982, a colleague in the English Department of Phillips Exeter Academy, where I was an instructor in Spanish, told me that her department wanted to invite Jorge Luis Borges to spend a week at our institution. She wondered if I would be able to make such a miracle happen. 

As it turned out, it would take a miracle. Borges, then in his early 80s and blind since the age of 50, had stopped answering his mail long ago. Those seeking access to him had to do it through his inner circle. And he was not lacking for invitations. It was only with the help of the Center for Latin American and Iberian Studies at Harvard that I managed to get PEA on his schedule. 

In the months leading up to his visit, whenever I spoke of the project with colleagues from other academic institutions, I was warned of how exacting Borges could be as a guest. I learned that he was known to abandon the podium midspeech if he didn’t like an “impertinent” question or grew tired of others’ interpretations of his work. Not to mention the quality of meals or lodgings that were required to suit his needs. 

I was quite familiar with Borges’ masterly writing. He was a favorite author in our Spanish literature classes, in spite of the level of difficulty his work posed for students. However, I knew little about the man, thus I dedicated myself to reading all I could find about him. I decided to prepare for his arrival as thoroughly as possible, in the hopes that I could avoid having one of his temper tantrums ruin the visit. 

Spring days in New England can be dark and rainy. It was one such day in April that I was to meet and escort Borges to Exeter. The trip from Connecticut (where Borges had just participated in a colloquium in his honor) to New Hampshire would be a few hours drive. At 9:00 in the morning, I walked into a library where Borges, seated alone, with his ubiquitous cane and his blind gaze lost in the distance, awaited me. He sensed my steps and lifted his head in my direction. I introduced myself. Almost immediately, a young woman entered the hall. Her name was María Kodama and she was Borges’ companion. 

Once in the car, we began to make our way down the rainy highway. Borges took an interest in my background. I told him of my youth in Ecuador and my upbringing among beautiful Baroque churches in Quito. I don’t know how it began, but for a long while we sang childhood nursery rhymes, echoes of our shared Latin American youth. By the time we reached Concord, Massachusetts, Borges and I had established an unexpected camaraderie. 

Having learned that Borges was a great admirer of 19th-century New England writers, I had called the National Park Service to find out the hours of Louisa May Alcott’s house and museum. I thought we could stop there on our trip north so that Borges could rest. The person who answered the phone informed me that the museum would be closed the day we hoped to visit. “What a shame!” I said. “I wanted to bring a well-known Argentine author who will be visiting the country.” 

“You don’t mean Borges, do you?” she replied with astonishment.  “Why, yes!” I answered.  “For him, the museum is open any time, any day.”

It was still raining when we entered the home of the author of Little Women. There, by the warmth of a wood fire, we were greeted with steaming cups of hot tea and a freshly baked apple pie. An enormous park ranger, with little literary knowledge but a keen awareness of the importance of the guest, offered Borges her arm saying she was expert in guiding the blind. Borges enjoyed the special privilege they granted him to touch the spines of the books in the Alcott library. Before leaving, the park ranger took off her large hat, put it on Borges’ head, stood by his side and asked me to take their photo. 

It was the logical choice to host Borges at the stately Exeter Inn on the edge of campus. I watched as Borges entered his room and touched the walls to familiarize himself with his new surroundings. I surmised that this would make him less dependent on others. 

The students had prepared for Borges’ visit by reading some of his work in several languages. Those who didn’t study Spanish read translations of his work in French, English, German, Russian or Italian. The night of his arrival I asked Borges to speak to the general assembly of students. “What do you want me to talk about?” he asked.  “Whatever you’d like,” I answered. 

“Reading is the shortest and safest way to achieve happiness.”
Jorge Luis Borges

Flanked by the head of school, [Principal Stephen Kurtz] on one side, and me on the other, Borges sat in the middle of a long table on the stage of the Assembly Hall. With a voice weakened by the years and in British-inflected English, he spoke briefly to the student body. His message was simple: Read. “Reading is the shortest and safest way to achieve happiness,” he said.

When he stopped speaking, the assembly erupted into deafening applause that lasted longer than Borges had spoken. As we listened to the enthusiastic reception, his hand found mine at the edge of the table. “Did I do well?” he asked me, with unexpected humility. “You are hearing the answer,” I replied.

In the days that followed, the sight of Borges walking the paths of campus beside Kodama became so familiar that it felt as if he had always been there with us. It was then that I realized that the irascible Borges, prone to fits of temper, of whom I had heard so much, had lost his sharp edges. He had become a kind old man who basked in the glow of the attention he received. Borges went in and out of classrooms, enthralling the students.

In the afternoons, Borges, Kodama and I would gather for tea. These were delightful moments of conversation. When I wanted to talk about the authors of the Latin American Boom, he told me he hadn’t read them. Snobbery? By contrast, he cited from memory books, texts, pages of the classics he grew up studying, as though he were seeing them. What an ironic twist of fate, to take away the sight of a man whose very life was reading.

I understood why many critics had said that Borges was not a Latin American writer — he was much more a product of European culture in general (and English in particular), rather than the newer strain germinated in Latin America. It was not only his hermetic style that separated him from his contemporaries, but also the unexpected narrative twists and turns that produced such unusual results in his work. His inspiration was not based on immediate reality, nor did he practice magic realism, a style prevalent among other Latin American writers of the time. In the vault of his library in Buenos Aires, he extracted and honed the gems of his stories amid the silent company of books. Thus, he made us understand that the words of El Quijote by Pierre Menard, though they may seem identical to those of Cervantes, are not, because Menard wrote in the 20th century and Cervantes at the beginning of the 17th; that it would take Funes the memorious another lifetime to remember all that he had experienced in the first; or that Judas, the traitor, could be Jesus Christ himself, since his betrayal was essential to Christ’s act of redemption.

Borges was not interested in the present, or in politics, the state of the world or contemporary society. He lived in an elitist past that accepted without question the division of classes, as well as racial, social and economic differences. If Borges had an Achilles’ heel, it was an absurdly naive view of the world. Perhaps this is what allowed him to accept a decoration from the Chilean dictator Augusto Pinochet, and, according to some, cost him the Nobel Prize for Literature. The night before his departure, Borges, Kodama, Peter Greer (a colleague from the English Department) and I dined at my home. The after-dinner conversation lasted into the wee hours of the morning. We discussed books. Borges asked for copies of particular books to confirm his quotes or to read a passage.

The next morning, when I went into my dining room, I found it scattered with books, some closed, some opened, silent witnesses all to those last hours with Borges.

Editor’s Note: This article first appeared in the winter 2023 issue of The Exeter Bulletin.

Harkness in Hollywood

Cartoon drawing of Christina Kim and Janet Yang in front of the Hollywood sign

Janet Yang ’74 entered the ranks of Hollywood’s power players in the 1980s, when she brokered the first sales of American studio films to the Chinese market. She confirmed her star status by producing The Joy Luck Club (1993) — the groundbreaking adaptation of Amy Tan’s best-selling novel — and a multitude of other acclaimed films, from The People vs. Larry Flynt (1996) to Over the Moon (2020). In 2022, she was elected president of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. Yang is the first Asian person, and only the fourth woman, to hold that position in the academy’s 95-year history.

We recently invited her to sit down for a conversation with fellow alumna Christina Kim ’95, an award-winning TV writer and creator, show runner and executive producer of the network drama Kung Fu. Yang and Kim met virtually for a wide-ranging discussion that covered their respective experiences at Exeter, the evolution of Asian representation in film and TV and the impact of Yang’s inspiring new role.

What was it like arriving at Exeter for the first time?

Janet Yang: I grew up in a Jewish neighborhood on Long Island and we were the only Asian family in the area. But my mother worked at the United Nations so I was used to visiting her at work and seeing people from all over the world. New York City is an incredible microcosm, with a mix of everything. To arrive at Exeter and see Asians, Blacks, people from all over the world and with different levels of socioeconomic class … that felt so good.

Christina Kim: I was born in Chicago in a very white suburb. When I was 10, I moved to Korea. That was a bit of a culture shock. [When I] came to Exeter as a lower, I knew nothing about boarding school life. Like you said, Janet, it felt like a perfect microcosm of what the world should be. Educationwise, too — I look back and wish I could do it again and really appreciate it.

Yang: We’re sometimes too immature to truly appreciate what we’re given. Later in life you realize, I’ll probably never be in such a diverse, inclusive group of people again. Those words didn’t exist back then, by the way. One didn’t talk about diversity and inclusion, it just was.

Did Exeter help prepare you for your roles in Hollywood?

Kim: My first job as a staff writer was on Lost … and it was exactly the Harkness table system. Ten to 12 people sitting around a table and just throwing out ideas, and the best ideas win and get to go up on the board. I remember sitting there thinking: This is literally Exeter, but in a professional setting. It felt strangely comforting because it wasn’t new to me.

Yang: I can relate that to sitting in boardrooms now, or when pitching to an executive and sitting around a big table. That model repeats itself again and again in our lives.

The Joy Luck Club made history as one of the first major Hollywood films to feature a mostly Asian cast. Could you both talk about the changes you’ve seen during your careers in terms of Asian representation in film and TV?

Yang: [Before The Joy Luck Club] I was so new to Hollywood, I didn’t know what I didn’t know. I kept thinking, I want to do something with Asians; I didn’t quite know how near impossible it was. That kind of naiveté was helpful because if I had been a seasoned executive, I would’ve instantly put the notion out of my mind. I don’t think [the movie] would’ve been made today in the same way. The studios took more chances, and … they don’t do that anymore. A movie with no stars, a third of it in a non-English language, a lot of flashbacks. All of it broke so many rules.

Kim: That is still one of my favorite movies. It’s an incredible accomplishment, and it influenced so many people.

Yang: Thank you. My parents were extras in the movie, so they could finally brag about what I did, as opposed to being embarrassed. [laughs]

Kim: It’s interesting to see how much the business has changed even in my shortish career. When I first started, I was one of two women in the writers’ room, and it was very racist. Things were said that would be on the cover of Variety now, with people getting canceled, but it was just the way it was. In retrospect, that first experience helped me, because it made me figure out what kind of person and writer I wanted to be. [When] I started developing my own material, I wrote a Korean American soapy drama and sold it to NBC. It ultimately didn’t get made … but the studio really liked it and said: “We have Kung Fu the property. You’re Asian, what do you think?” I was like — I’m not Chinese, I’m Korean.

Yang: [laughs] Close enough.

Kim: But I thought, if there’s an opportunity to make this and I’m the person that’s closest to being able to make it, then I should try. I did a lot of research to make sure I got the details right. When we sold the show [in 2020], the executives told us this was the first network drama with a predominantly Asian cast. That was just crazy to think about, and it’s something I’m really proud of. I remember sitting at Warner Bros., and the head of casting said to me, “I’ve never seen the hallway look like this.” The entire hallway was full of Asian American actors. After starting on a show where I was the minority, and felt ostracized many times, to create an environment where that’s not the case makes me happy.

Yang: I think we both feel that responsibility to keep pushing the envelope because we know that’s what it takes. We still have to prove ourselves.

Speaking of pushing the envelope, what are you hoping to do as president of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences to further its evolution?

Yang: I got more involved with the academy after the 2016 Oscars and #OscarsSoWhite. I remember the conversations we were having as an industry that year, and I remember seeing a skit early in the 2016 show that played into Asian sterotypes — and honestly, that was a punch to the gut for us as a community.

I’d been a member for over 20 years. I got my DVDs and I voted. That was the full extent of my involvement, but I was moved to do something. I signed a group letter with some very high-profile people, like Ang Lee, Sandra Oh and George Takei. [The academy] did listen, and they had already started to think about diversifying membership. They started the A2020 committee [which set the goal of doubling the number of women and people of color in the academy’s membership] and put me on it. One thing led to another, and I just got more and more involved.

I think the prior leaders, and certainly [current academy CEO] Bill Kramer and I, feel like we have to be ahead of the curve. We’re talking to all the studios and distribution companies and trying to get everyone aligned. How do we create guidelines? How do we find diverse members? How do we keep encouraging people to think about this? There are so many efforts on so many levels that are happening as we speak.

Kim: I just wanted to say thank you, Janet, because taking on these roles is a job on top of a job. I know that it’s coming from a place of real passion. Because of you, there are people like me, and a show on TV like Kung Fu with an almost entirely Asian cast. Thank you for being a trailblazer. You’re inspiring me to get more involved.

Yang: Thank you, Christina. I’ve admired you from afar, so we’re mutually fan girling.

Editor’s Note: This article first appeared in the winter 2023 issue of The Exeter Bulletin.

Science for Humanity

Sasha Kramer ’94 has worked for nearly 20 years to combat the twin crises of food insecurity and lack of sanitation access in Haiti by transforming human waste into a vital resource to restore depleted ecosystems. During an all-school assembly in October, she was presented with the John and Elizabeth Phillips Award, which recognizes an Exonian who has contributed significantly to the welfare of community, country or humanity.

“As an ecologist, human rights advocate and champion of dignified and safe sanitation, you have channeled your passionate devotion to ecological research into the pursuit of basic human rights for people in Haiti and around the world,” Trustee and General Alumni Association President Betsy Fleming ’86 said when delivering the award citation in Assembly Hall.

In accepting this year’s award, Kramer spoke of initially feeling out of place at Exeter when she arrived as a prep from rural upstate New York. “Through the daily practice of sitting at a table with my classmates from a wide diversity of backgrounds, my confidence grew,” she said.

Kramer traveled to Haiti for the first time in 2004, while she was pursuing a Ph.D. in ecology at Stanford University, as a human rights observer for a Bay Areabased action committee. “I learned that … the most pervasive human rights abuse in Haiti and globally is poverty,” she said. “While I witnessed terrible suffering, I also witnessed true courage.”

Two years later, Kramer co-founded Sustainable Organic Integrated Livelihoods (SOIL) and used her academic research to improve lives. SOIL develops and deploys a container-based sanitation system that transforms human waste into rich compost, while reducing the spread of disease and creating jobs for Haitian citizens. Now one of Haiti’s largest waste treatment operations, SOIL focuses on developing social business models to provide safe household sanitation in the country’s most vulnerable urban communities.

“In a world rife with challenges related to water shortages, unsafe sanitation and food insecurity, yours is a model that many people seek to emulate,” Fleming said, adding that SOIL has joined forces with a global network of groups, including research institutions and scientists, to develop sustainable alternatives to water-based sewage.

While on campus, Kramer connected with students by attending classes in religion and integrated studies and by meeting with several groups within the Exeter Student Service Organization (ESSO). She also shared with the assembly audience the greatest lessons Haiti has taught her, which she hoped would be relevant to students’ lives as they grow into global citizens. “Much of my academic training focused on objective observation,” she said. “But Haiti quickly taught me that emotional intelligence — the ability to empathize with others, no matter how painful — was the most valuable tool for building the relationships that are pivotal for making change.”

Haiti taught her perspective, Kramer said, as she set aside personal challenges in the face of “the everyday heroism of my team, who literally would walk through burning roadblocks to ensure sanitation to families cut off by insecurity.”

Finally, she learned perseverance. “Undoing centuries of inequality is a lifetime commitment,” Kramer said. “It requires a dedication that takes strength in small victories and the tenacity to persist in the face of immeasurable setbacks.” E The John and Elizabeth Phillips Award was inaugurated in 1965 at the behest of the Academy Trustees and the Executive Committee of the General Alumni Association. The award honors Exonians whose lives and contributions to the welfare of community, country and humanity exemplify the nobility of character and usefulness to society that John and Elizabeth Phillips sought to promote in establishing the Academy. To watch the award assembly, visit exeter.edu/live

The John and Elizabeth Phillips Award was inaugurated in 1965 at the behest of the Academy Trustees and the Executive Committee of the General Alumni Association. The award honors Exonians whose lives and contributions to the welfare of community, country and humanity exemplify the nobility of character and usefulness to society that John and Elizabeth Phillips sought to promote in establishing the Academy.

Editor’s Note: This article first appeared in the winter 2023 issue of The Exeter Bulletin.

Unlocking the code

I belong

Two decades after her graduation from Exeter, Rhoda Tamakloe ’01 still prizes her Afro-Latinx Exonian Society T-shirt collection. Being a member of ALES played an important role in her days as a student coming of age at the Academy in the late ’90s.

“It was the first time in my life that I was able to find community and people who shared my background,” says Tamakloe, whose father is Nigerian and Ghanaian and whose mother is African American and of Indigenous descent from the Narragansett and Wampanoag of Rhode Island and Massachusetts. “It helped me step into my own.”

Tamakloe cherishes her three years at Exeter, but she acknowledges that she struggled with being seen as a learning prop instead of a peer in certain instances. One unforgettable moment during a history class stands out. “I remember the lights went off and a video came on; it was that scene in Amistad where they are drowning the slaves,” she recalls. “Then the lights came on and the teacher said, ‘Rhoda, how do you feel about this?’ I said, ‘Well, I don’t know, I was never a slave. How do you feel about it?’”

The incident left her confused, hurt and unclear as to what more her 15-year-old self could have added about the murder of human beings by despotic slavers. She was grateful, however, that later that day she could count on classmates in ALES to help her process what happened. “Without that support, I would have carried and swallowed what happened,” she said.

During her senior year, she adds, she found support in the classroom as well. Black Experience in White America, a course taught by Russell Weatherspoon ’01, ’03, ’08, ’11 (Hon.); P’92, P’95, P’97, P’01, she says, provided an additional safe space to explore the intersection of class and race with her peers.

Now as an elected General Alumni Association (GAA) director and chair of the GAA Alumni Affinity Engagement Committee, Tamakloe is leading efforts to curate identity and affinity spaces like ALES for Exeter alumni. Her focus is on intersectionality.

“I am working to create sustainable, accessible pathways for Exonians to connect with each other and continue to reimagine how we can work together to leave this world a little better than we found it, which is at the heart of the school’s non sibi philosophy,” she says.

On-campus affinity spaces

In educational settings, affinity spaces are meant to create a sense of belonging so students feel affirmed and encouraged and, most important, they can exist freely without the oppressive gaze that regards them as “others.”

In predominantly white and heteronormative environments, people who are differently abled, LGBTQ+ and from various racial and ethnic backgrounds can often feel invisible and stressed, even if the behavior toward them is unintentional.

“Affinity spaces provide opportunities for people to find cultural reflections and affirmation,” says Stephanie Bramlett, the Academy’s director of Equity and Inclusion. “They are a well-documented key ingredient in how we foster connection and belonging for all at Exeter.”

Bramlett says the Office of Multicultural Affairs currently sponsors two types of identity-based groups: cultural groups and affinity groups. Since these groups are student-driven efforts, numbers fluctuate from year to year. Of this year’s 30 groups, 10 are affinity groups.

Bramlett says that cultural group members come together to learn about and celebrate a particular social or cultural group. They are open to anyone who wants to be in community with others discussing a topic around a particular culture. Examples include ALES, the Exeter Feminist Union and the Gender and Sexuality Alliance.

By comparison, Bramlett says, affinity group members come together because they have a shared social identity and can speak to the unique experience of being a member of the group. “You know you are in the right affinity group,” she explains, if you can “speak to that group’s collective cultural identity and experience from the ‘I’ and ‘we’ perspective.” Examples include La Alianza Latina, Exonians With Disabilities and Different Abilities, and the Association of Low-Income Exonians.

“At the Academy, affinity groups play an integral part in the student experience,” says Associate Dean of Multicultural Affairs Hadley Camilus. “Being in a familiar space with other students who share a particular salient identity is paramount, for some, to being able to thrive here. We don’t prescribe that. The students get a sense of when they need to be around those who feel familiar. It’s important for students to know that others are having similar experiences here, and to learn how to be authentic in a community that doesn’t always allow for that, from their more seasoned peers.”

Academic literature supports the power of affinity groups to increase self-esteem and achievement, and improve mental well-being. Beverly Daniel Tatum, one of the leading authorities on the complexity of identity, says affinity spaces help young people in identity development. In her book Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?, Tatum writes that if you are growing up as a young person of color in society, part of that experience is to get messages from the wider world about who you are, and responding to them. Tatum, who is also the interim president of Mount Holyoke College and president emerita of Spelman College, says that teenagers start to think about questions of identity in ways that lead them to seek out people who are having similar experiences. It should surprise no one to see young people, particularly in adolescence, gathering in similar groups, she writes. And it’s not just Black children. Asian, Latinx, Native American and white youths do this as well.

Bringing alumni together

Adults can also benefit from affinity groups that help fortify the human spirit. As a member of the GAA’s Board of Directors, Trustee Una Basak ’90 was the founding chair of the Alumni Affinity Engagement Committee. Basak, a Harvard University graduate, says that in 2021 the GAA directors quickly identified three alumni needs: to engage and solicit feedback, to improve communication with young alumni and to create affinity groups. It became very clear, she says, that they needed to respond with some level of programming and safe space creation for alumni to engage with one another. The Alumni Affinity Engagement Committee was formed and focused first on bringing affinity groups together during the 2021 virtual reunion program, a practice that had begun with reunion classes prior to the pandemic.

Basak says she learned a lot organizing these groups, not the least of which was just how difficult it would be to identify BIPOC and LGBTQ+ individuals. In the beginning, the committee relied on word of mouth, she says. The Academy has since updated its directory to allow alumni to self-identify and add race, ethnicity, religion and sexual orientation to their profiles.

The committee invited alumni to join affinity breakout sessions for those who identify as Asian, Black, Hispanic/Latinx and LGBTQ+. Although not very well attended, the alumni who participated in the virtual events expressed an enthusiastic desire to keep going.

The excitement motivated Basak, and she worked with Exeter’s Office of Institutional Advancement and Alumni Relations to begin a more robust virtual program for four alumni affinity groups — Asian American Pacific Islander, Black, Hispanic/Latinx and LGBTQ+.  The alumni who gathered hailed from graduating classes as far back as the 1960s, adding to the richness of the conversations and the variety of experiences.

“It was emotional and very valuable to each and every person on the Zoom,” says Basak, who is of South Indian heritage. “Some of the alums have been carrying traumatic stories for years, but in creating these containers to share experiences, we have built a support system that in a way heals and brings back alums who love the Academy but were not as engaged. The engagement is deeper and more meaningful.”

Trustee Paulina Jerez ’91 attended a Latino/x affinity gathering in December and says, “Not only was this program a great opportunity to [get to know alumni], but it provided a space where we could share our stories and common experiences with Exonians of similar backgrounds.”

Basak says that the alumni affinity groups are mirroring the extraordinary work being done through the Office of Multicultural Affairs on behalf of current students. “We did not have that when we were students in the ’90s,” she says. “For example, there was an Asian Society when I was a student, but it was mostly about food, and there is nothing wrong with that. But we are going deeper. … I am hoping for stories, when brought to light, that are going to create some paths toward a better engagement between alumni and the Academy. And healing.”

How far the Academy has come

Nat Butler ’64 wishes an LGBTQ+ space had existed when he attended the Academy more than 60 years ago. Butler, a newly appointed General Alumni Association director and vice chair of the GAA Alumni Affinity Engagement Committee, wrote an article for the winter 1994 edition of The Exeter Bulletin outlining his initial efforts to connect gay alumni with the Academy and one another. It was a first attempt to build a gay alumni affinity group, and nearly two decades later, Butler is realizing the dream. “I am a dinosaur,” he says, chuckling, “and to see how much progress has happened at the Academy is very exciting.”

Butler attended the Academy when it was a predominantly white male institution. There were two Black students in his class and, he says, the only women he ever saw were faculty wives and food servers, besides the girls who attended occasional dances. It was a time, he recalls vividly, when boys openly made fun of boys for being queer. To this day he flinches when young gays openly embrace the word queer because it caused him so much emotional damage. “The last thing you wanted was to be called that by your classmates or have anyone suspect that you might be homosexual,” he says. “It was a very difficult time to be gay.”

In the ’60s, same-sex sexual activity was illegal in most states. For Butler, the stress was mostly about keeping his nascent gay identity a secret. He says he lived in constant fear and “was totally petrified that anyone would find out.” He was in his mid-20s before he came out to his father, Jonathan Butler ’35.

Despite the challenges of the time, Butler excelled at Exeter. He was elected president of his class and president of the Student Council. He graduated from Harvard College and, at the height of the Vietnam War, followed in his father’s footsteps to enlist in the Navy.

Butler’s mother died of breast cancer soon after he turned 11, and his father fell apart. At 14, he arrived at the Academy. In many ways, Butler says, the Exeter community became his extended family. That is why the school is so important to him, he says.

“As time went on, I remembered how difficult it was to be a gay student at Exeter, and I didn’t want other students to go through what I went through,” Butler, now 76, says, tearing up. He gradually let his Academy friends know he was a gay alumnus, and in 1991 he volunteered to return to campus to give a talk.

The first time the topic of homosexuality was openly discussed at Exeter, he says, was in 1987, when a group of alumni spoke at an assembly. Butler’s talk was the second time. His activism and organizing on behalf of LGBTQ+ alumni has not stopped.

After his father died, Butler established a scholarship in his name. He has been happy to learn that some of the scholarships have gone to LGBTQ+ students. In 1994, Butler received the President’s Award “in recognition of his work as a liaison between the Academy and its gay and lesbian alumni/ae.” In 2006, he was presented with the Founders’ Day Award for his exceptional and sustained service to the Academy.

“For years I would send an email to every single alumni class president introducing myself as a gay alumnus and suggesting an event for gay alums,” he says. “Some wrote back saying they don’t have any gay class-mates. But they had to have a conversation with me, and I am happy that at least this issue got on the radar.”

Butler is excited to see how far the Academy has come regarding LGBTQ+ and BIPOC inclusion, and especially to see alumni affinity groups blossom. “The tide is shifting, but it is slow,” he says. “As much as has been done, there is so much more to do. Until we can really be who we are when we come from out of the womb, then we are never going to be comfortable. We develop prejudices at a young age; we pick them up and learn — it’s in the air. And if you are not aware of them, you can’t work on them, so it’s a constant vigil. We may never get to the point where there is no racism or no homophobia, but that does not mean we won’t try.”

He acknowledged he had never imagined that more than six decades after graduating from the Academy, he would be considered an important LGBTQ+ leader. “I don’t consider myself a leader,” he says. “I consider myself being myself, and that is all we can be: ourselves. If I can be a good example for someone else, that is terrific.”

Editor’s Note: This article first appeared in the winter 2023 issue of The Exeter Bulletin.

Exeter Deconstructed: The Red Bandits

Wanted: Exeter students. The noisier, the better. Must have school spirit and no aversion to face paint. Lots of red clothing is a plus. Kilts provided.

Exonians with the requisite qualities have been answering this call for decades, serving collectively as the accelerant on the Exeter-Andover fire in their role as Red Bandits. Each time the E/A games roll around, the Bandits rile the crowds and let all within earshot know that “WE ARE E-X-E-T-E-R!”

The Academy officially recognizes the Bandits today, and they are chosen by Student Activities from a pool of applicants. But their origins are less formalized and somewhat murky. A 1988 story about a pre-E/A assembly in The Exonian tells of “not-so-traditional cheerleaders showing their stuff.” Six years later, The Exonian reported “the idea of having Red Bandits started when a nonathletic, somewhat … angry group of guys got together for the purpose of adding more spirit to Exeter.”

Lack of school spirit is a time-honored lament at Exeter. Newspaper editorials dating to the 1890s bemoan a shortage of support for Exeter teams. “It should be unnecessary to again call attention to what is nothing more than a lack of school spirit,” the editors wrote in 1895.

Last fall, with the advent of a pep band and a student fan section called The Big Red Zone, many Exeter varsity teams enjoyed vocal support. And when E/A arrived in November, the Red Bandits were in Andover, the noisiest of them all.

Editor’s note: The article first appeared in the winter 2023 issue of The Exeter Bulletin.

Finis Origine Pendet: Noah's Wife

The dreams came often. When they arrived, spilling over with tangled instructions, Noah held his tape recorder to my mouth and so I woke to the smell of plastic, the heat emanating from his palm, as if he could capture what I saw: bees in hexagonal formation; tidal waves and corpses withering; sapling trees sped up into big oaks; red coral and water on fire.

“These are important, wife,” Noah would say, jotting notes into his big black notebook, charting numbers and lines. He took my temperature, my blood pressure, dilated my eyes. Each morning I woke not to sunlight across my face but his hands hovering near me, as if to pull the word-songs from my speech and hold them tight. He scrawled them down and posted what he discovered on his online forums, the ones making plans for the world ending.

“I think He’s speaking to you,” Noah said, those first mornings when I woke up fumbling with the covers, spilling my glass of water, startled by my own voice as if it was pulled from me.

I preferred not to think of source. There was my nightstand table, the same as ever. Bottle of melatonin. Stacks of paperback books I never read. A layer of dust. A photo of Noah and I, his arms around me at Coney Island. Behind us, bright blue sea.

The night he came home reeking of beer, with lipstick stains slashed across his neck, I decided my sleeplessness. Not sex he wanted but the blurred outlines and instructions, the cubit measurements and Latin names.

“Do we bring the elephants,” he kept asking, but I would not dream an answer. I paced the house, kept the kitchen lights on, opened and closed the fridge door. I poured glasses of milk and spilled them into the sink.

“Please sleep,” Noah begged, though he still had not wiped the lipstick stains off his neck. Noah, who did not or could not remember his dreams, who rocked and prayed for signs and symbols, and got nothing. He tried blue lotus tea and charms under his pillows, drank poppy seed tinctures, saw mediums and oracles — women in Queens with big blond hair who snapped their gum. They said, “Listen, honey, you’ve got to let go, the dreams don’t come to those who cling.” Under their breath, to me, they said, “Let me know if he gives you trouble. I’ve got something for that.”

All I knew about the dreams is that I liked being inside of them. I did not need to know their source. Just that I felt gathered instead of fragmented, watching deers running through forests, dipping my dream hands into humming rivers, even watching the forests burn.

When the dreams showed the destruction, the chaos and the cataclysms, I liked that, too. There was always a small crack in the pain — light pouring through, as if to scoop me up and say, “Even during this, you’ll be safe.”

In my dreams, Noah was nowhere to be found.

Raisa Tolchinsky is the 2022-23 George Bennett Fellow writer-in-residence. This piece is excerpted from the manuscript she is working on this year, about the unnamed women of the Bible.

Editor’s note: This article first appeared in the winter 2023 issue of The Exeter Bulletin.

A message of gratitude

As we begin the new year, it seems a good moment to reflect on some highlights from our fall term. This year we welcomed the first wave of new Exonians admitted under the school’s need-blind admissions policy announced last November. In all, 341 new students sat in the gymnasium for Opening Assembly, which began with a procession of students bearing the flags of the 37 countries of origin represented among our student body. In my remarks that day, I told students what I tell them every year: You can do the work. You will make lifelong friends. Absolutely, you belong here.

This fall, we also saw the opening of New Hall, which provides a home for 60 girls and five faculty families as well as a new academic space for our Health and Human Development Department. The dorm has brought a new liveliness to its corner of campus, and I am especially appreciative of the flexibility the building gives us to renovate other residence halls, starting with Merrill and Langdell and the construction of a new dining center on the site of Wetherell, which will begin this spring. 

At The Goel Center for Theater and Dance, we saw a stunning fall dance performance, “Moments In Time,” featuring original choreography from our students and faculty, and a thought-provoking interactive theater production of “Everybody” by Branden Jacobs-Jenkins. Audiences filled the Forrestal-Bowld Music Center for the start of our 2022–23 concert series, including performances by the Concert Choir and Symphony Orchestra and our fall student soloist concert.

We headed to Andover for E/A Weekend, where the predicted rain held off long enough for a trio of decisive wins by our boys soccer, girls volleyball and football teams, valiant efforts by all of our athletes, and an impressive display of Big Red spirit by our students and all Exeter fans, led by our new Pep Band and the irrepressible Red Bandits. Girls volleyball capped off a perfect 14-0 regular season, while boys cross-country captured a third straight Division I title. 

Being able to welcome visitors to our campus in ways we could not do a year ago added excitement to the fall term. We heard words of inspiration from distinguished alumni on the Assembly Hall stage, including Veronica Juarez ’00, Tomi Suchan ’08, Lt. Cmdr. Jean-Paul Christophe ’00 and Dr. Sasha Kramer ’94, winner of this year’s John and Elizabeth Phillips Award, along with other visiting speakers. Over Exeter Leadership Weekend in September, we welcomed trustees, members of the General Alumni Association and alumni and parent volunteers, all of whom relished the chance to meet in person for the first time in three years, including a Friday night dinner with the senior class. We also had a terrific Family Weekend in October, during which families were thrilled to be able to attend classes with their children again.

These are just a few highlights from the fall term. During the Opening Assembly, I proposed starting the academic year in a spirit of deep appreciation and gratitude for the opportunities and privileges we all enjoy as part of the Exeter community. In that same spirit, I want to say how grateful I am for the support of the alumni, parents and other friends of the Academy who help make it all possible. Thank you.  

Editor’s note: This column first appeared in the winter 2023 issue of The Exeter Bulletin.

Scholarly Endeavors

What is the fellowship program?

Established in 2013, the program provides advanced doctoral students who might not otherwise consider careers in a residential secondary school the opportunity to gain experience in such a community while working on the completion stage of their dissertations.

Who are the 2022-23 fellows?

Dominique Branson is a Ph.D. linguistics student concentrating in sociolinguistics at the University of Pittsburgh. Her dissertation topic, “Sounding Guilty: Criminalization and Black Racialized Speech,” investigates whether speakers who are assessed as “sounding Black” are also criminalized. “In my linguistics courses, I learned about the many ways that African American English (AAE) differs from standardized American English, or what we usually call ‘proper English,’” Branson says. “Since then, I’ve wanted to know whether Black Americans who speak AAE experience negative outcomes in our criminal legal system because of how listeners hear their speech.”

Maya Singhal is a doctoral candidate in anthropology at Harvard University. Singhal teaches courses on anthropological research at Harvard and a writing course on business and labor in fiction and film at New York University. Singhal’s dissertation is a historical and ethnographic study of African American and Chinese American collaborations, solidarities and mutual aid in New York City from about the 1960s to the present. Singhal says, “I’m interested in how criminal and criminalized activities work as sites for a variety of pragmatic collaborations, from the African and Chinese counterfeit designer goods sellers in Chinatown to extralegal community defense patrols working to prevent anti-Asian violence.”

How do the fellows benefit the community?

The fellows teach online seminars and connect on campus with departments and students interested in their fields. They also make themselves available in an informal way to students interested in and student organizations related to their fields.

What do the fellows hope to accomplish?

Branson: “I hope to learn how I can better make my research relevant to youth. …I would also like to know what connections students see between language and justice and how they can use their voices to promote justice. I’m excited to work with diverse students and learn from their perspectives at Phillips Exeter Academy!”

Singhal: “I’m excited to see the really urgent political and social movements we’re faced with, especially since the pandemic, through students’ eyes. It strikes me that a lot of students see their generation as the ones who need to save the world, and I’m excited to think about the histories of social movements and our political issues in the present with people who feel this kind of urgency.”

Editor’s note: This article first appeared in the winter 2023 issue of The Exeter Bulletin.

Big Red track rips up record book

Exeter boys track and field enjoyed a record-setting weekend at the Boston University John Thomas Terrier Invitational. Five school records were shattered as Big Red firmly took its share of the national spotlight.

Oliver Brandes ’23 kicked off the excitement with a school-record time of 1:53.65 in the 800 meters, good enough for the fifth-fastest time in the country. This was the second straight week of strong performances for Brandes, as he qualified for nationals in the 400 and the mile last weekend.

Jaylen Bennett ’25 followed Brandes by setting a pair of school records. Bennett cruised in the 400-meter run with a time of 48.26, the fastest time by an Exonian in indoor or outdoor track, while claiming the fastest time by any 10th grader in the country and seventh-best time overall this season. He followed up his performance in the 400 meters with a record-setting performance in the 200, crossing the finish in 22.05. That was good enough to be the second-fastest by a 10th grader in the nation this year. Bennett’s performance comes a week after crushing the school record in the 300 meters with a time of 35.58.

Byron Grevious ’24 joined the party in the 3,000, breaking his own school record with a time of 8:15.10, the fastest time amongst 11th graders and the second-best time in the country this year. Grevious, who proved to be one of the best high school runners in the country following an outstanding cross country season, has qualified for nationals in the mile and 5,000 meters.

On Sunday, Brandes (1,200 meters), Bennett (400), Max Lacombe ’24 (800) and Grevious teamed up for the men’s distance medley relay, posting a school record and the fastest time in the nation this year with a blistering time of 10:05.35.

Big Red will be back in the William Boyce Thompson Fieldhouse this coming Saturday at 1 p.m.