The Art of Negotiation

Jeff Flake has arm-twisted congressmen and senators and earned the gratitude and admiration of presidents on two continents. He’s even been knighted by the king of Sweden.

But when the former politician and diplomat delivered remarks to the Exeter community at an all-school assembly in September, he drew upon the words of prominent Exonians to underscore his messages of empathy and unity.

“A wise man, your principal, gave an address just a few weeks ago,” Flake said of Principal Bill Rawson’s Opening Assembly speech. “He said, ‘empathy enables us to see ourselves and others as learners. It helps us learn to be comfortable having our thoughts and ideas tested by others whose ideas, perspectives, experiences or identities are different from our own.’”

The six-term congressman and former U.S. Republican Senator from Arizona who also served as U.S. Ambassador to Turkey in the Biden Administration said his message has been shaped by growing up in a large family that taught him “a lot about getting along” and a political career spent reaching across the aisle.

Flake said the lessons Exeter students are learning around the Harkness table will serve them well. “The experiences that you have in this institution, and the skills you develop in this environment, will largely determine how you live in this political world,” he said.

“Some people try to disengage and get off social media,” he added. “That’s difficult. I would encourage you to use it in positive ways. Compliment a politician when he or she does the right thing. Learn the skills that are necessary to lower the political volume and do better as a country and as a people.”

Flake closed his visit by citing the words of another Exonian, Daniel Webster, class of 1796, that made the Massachusetts senator a national figure. “‘Liberty and union, now and forever, one and inseparable,’” Flake said. “I hope that we can all be that way.”

This article was originally published in the fall 2025 edition of The Exeter Bulletin.